Posted by
Tinman on Sunday, July 09, 2006 1:39:47 PM
Look, up in the window. It's a nurd!*
No. It's a pane!
No. It's Super-editorman!
Faster than a Joe Biden comment. More powerful than a Joe Biden loco-motive. Able to leap over Joe Biden in a running start (okay, anybody can leap over Slow Joe), and who, disguised as a really smart person at the New York Times fights for truth, justice, and, and, and the American...PUBLIC, public! Phew!
You know, I feel much better, much better, and safer now knowing that America is protected from the intrusive GWB Administration by none other than Bill Keller, executive-editor extraordinaire at the NYT. Really, I do.
I can sleep better at night knowing that BK and the NYT and LAT are out there protecting me from the likes of GWB and the USTD. That he's got informants at the FBI, CIA, DIA, NSA, Congress, et al keeping him abreast of the latest intelligence schemes that have intruded on my life.
I can stop looking over my shoulders now at the guys in black suits that... that suddenly aren't there anymore!? Oh, thank you, thank you BK. And at the those big black helicopters there in the sky. See. Hmm...look at that, they're gone too. Things are really looking up.
And I can go to the bank now too and not worry that GWB, the USTD, FBI, CIA, NSA, and Congress are rifling through my checking account (I don't have a savings account). Now, if BK could just stop my wife from do that! I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Really, I am.
You know, it's a good thing people like BK, and DB at the LAT are looking out for our interests. OBL and AQ should be thankful too, 'cause, you know, they don't like it when somebody's snooping around in their bank accounts either, right BK? I mean this just has to stop! I mean, people's bank accounts are at risk here, everybody. Do you understand that?! People's bank accounts, for heaven's sake.
You go get 'em, Super-editorman!
Now, if you could just run that NSA wiretapping story again, maybe that weird clicking sound on my cell phone will go away again too.
Thanks again, BK.
*Editor's note: Definition and etymology of NURD can be found at http://dictionary.reference.com. It's more than you think. He really is a nurd.